lis to "listen before i go - billie eilish" for more feels

vridha's pov

"you seriously had to remind me that you will always be that selfish bitch you were before right?" his words hurted me in a way that i couldn't imagine , stupid vridha and here you thought you will feel loved

"get out" i calmly said ignoring the storm inside my heart , no matter what i wouldn't look weak in front of him i won't let him trample over me just the way my family did "you don't make me get out of a room in my own house" he sarcastically laughed every sentence he uttered broke me , i knew i didn't deserve love but why this pain?

"yea bhul gayi thi for a second that achi chize kabhi meri apni nahi ho sakti" i chuckled slightly trying to control myself so i don't breakdown in front of him , on other days these silly fights wouldn't have bothered me cause i have heard people talk worse about me , but the fact that ive been hurt by people who were supposed to be mine on my birthday itself makes me sometimes wonder if i deserve it all

even though there are few minutes left before the clock strikes 12:00 par birthday saddie era time dekh kar thodi aata hae , taking my car keys and my phone i left without giving him a glance

lol happy birthday lil vridha i wish you were dead

abhimaan's pov

i didn't mean it that way , i was just angry knowing she was just marrying me so she could take the shares , its not about the money its about the betrayal , did she start talking to dadu so she can get what she couldn't get last time? everything feels like a mess and honestly i don't really know what to anymore

"HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY VRIDHA"

no

fuck

i fucked up

it was her birthday,everyone stood near the door with cake and poppers all wondering where vridha is "beta vridha kaha hae?" dadu asked abh inhe kaise batau inki laadli ko gussa dila diya maine aur voh pata nahi kaha chali gayi

i didn't have an answer to their questioning looks what would i say? i saw what her sister texted her and bursted out on her that too on her birthday? no thanks mujhe meri jaan pyaari hae "vridha abhi toh yahi thi kaha chali gayi?" papa said making me wonder if he saw her going out of the house "vo ghar chali gayi"

author's pov

listening to whatever happened between both of them everyone was so furious at abhimaan , especially dadu "usse rulane ke liye tumse shaadi karne nahi bola tha , abh lag raha hae kahi koi bhul toh na kardi humne" (i didn't ask you to marry her so you could make her cry , now that i think of it i think i made a mistake with all this) his words were like daggers and just thinking about not having her close to him made him devastated

all he could do was stay num , here abhimaan thought she's at her penthouse and she's safe but on the other hand vridha was recklessly driving with millions of thoughts in her head , her phone kept ringing with various calls from his family and other people even abhimaan but she refused to answer

with every speed breaker she encountered her heart also broke , tears spilled her eyes as her breath started getting uneven , she was devastated and tired all she wanted to do was go away , leave everything and run away

she thought doing something of her own will finally make her get rid of this pain but she was tired of trying to prove herself that things have changed and now she doesn't care BUT SHE DOES

the conversation between her and her mother constantly tormented her

flashbacks

"kyu tuli huvi hae humari zindagi barbaad karne mae , please beta ghar aaja papa se maafi maangle sabh thik hojayega" (why are you trying to make our lives worse please just come back home and apologise to him itll be fine) how could she say this? she's my own mother "mujhe aainda ese na lekar aaye meri koi image hae aur voh kharab nahi honi chahiye , shaadi mae bhi koi drama kiya na aap logo ne toh mujhse bura koi nahi hoga" (don't ever pull me like this again and make sure yall don't create any drama in my wedding or else i won't stay calm)

a slap yes that's what she got from her sister "you should've been dead teri jaisi bacchi na ho toh hi acha hae" all those words she uttered knowing it would hurt me made me sometimes wonder it they were right and i didn't deserve it "if you don't clear this mess i will make sure you don't get happiness here either , mark my words vridha you will regret this"

flashback over

"they're right , even abhimaan is right i am just a bitch that could never change , i should be dead i don't deserve to live" million such things were running in her head as she tried hard to concentrate on the blurry road

her chest felt heavy and all she wanted to do was scream and cry , abruptly taking a halt in the middle of the road she tried hard to come out of the car cause this feeling was suffocating her , getting out of the car she couldn't control herself as she fell

her whole body was shivering as her legs couldn't control themselves she screamed until her body couldn't process anymore , pulling her hair as she constantly tried to scratch her whole body trying to get rid of this feeling of disgust within her , she couldn't bare feeling like this

her head kept spinning as she decided it wasn't worth it , she wasn't worth living trying to stand abruptly stand up as she tried walking near the water while the air around her had already started drowning her

with every step she took she was reminded how every moment of her life she could never be enough for anyone how everytime she thought finally she could get some peace , it all came back she felt like she was stuck in this loop and there's no other way she could get out of it

thak gayi thi voh us loop mae daudte daudte jiska koi end hi nahi , aur nahi ho raha usse (she was tired of running inside the loop that had no ending , she couldn't do it anymore) she was halfway in , as the cold salty water came in contact with her bare arms she had scratched they started to burn

"mujhe maaf karna maan bhale hi tumko abhi bhi lag raha ho voh sabh maine kiya hae i am glad atleast for a few days i got to feel loved chahe voh jutha hi kyu na ho , maybe in some other universe we could be together without all these issues till than goodbye aur dadu ko bolna unki vridha humesha unse pyaar karegi" (please forgive me maan , even though you still might think i did all that i am just glad that i got to feel loved even though it was fake , maybe in other universe we could be together without all these issues till than goodbye abhimaan and please tell dadu that his vridha will forever love him)

with one last step she let the waves take her away from all the misery.